This Time
by Windlass
Summary: Twenty years have come and gone. Hasn't it been long enough? Sam needs to tell Andy before it's too late, but Andy has something of her own to tell. AU set in the future.
1. Chapter 1

Somewhere off S4 promo, AU, future fic, Sam and Andy, Warm And Fluffy Fan fiction.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Rookie Blue, just wishing the break between seasons wasn't so long! Also do not own the lyrics, 'This Time', by Bryan Adams.

It's my very first posting, so please leave me any helpful comments. One shot, I think. ;)

He drove his dark grey Ford F-150 to an almost unheard of town in the north of the province, a place too much in the sticks for this city boy's liking. Six hours there, six hours back. He took three days off to do this, not really expecting anything to come out of it. He'd given up on hope and love long ago. Why was he doing this, then? He thought about that long and hard, and truth be told, it was because he felt guilty, and doing this might somehow be a starting point in repairing some of the damage.

He turned up the radio on an old classic. How appropriate, Sam thought as he sang along with the lyrics.

'I think about her all the time, she's my fantasy  
Her image burnin' in my mind, callin' out to me  
Well my imagination's runnin' wild  
Things are getting clearer.'

Sam Swarek found himself walking through the hospital doors that afternoon, not knowing for certain if he should even be there. He really had no business, he thought, since it had been twenty years since he had any contact with Andy McNally.  
Twenty long years that he never forgot, twenty years of guilt and regret he'd learned to live with. They'd spent one last night together, for old times sake, trying to repair what they'd once had. That's when he dropped a bombshell.

"I've taken an assignment, Andy, and this time I really have no idea when I'll be back,"  
"What are you saying, Sam? What about us?"  
"There hasn't been an 'us' in a long time, Andy. That's the truth,"  
"Does that mean we should stop trying?"

Sam didn't answer. Andy wrapped the covers around herself and watched as as he silently pulled on his red t-shirt and faded jeans. She forced her tears back and clenched her eyelids shut. Even this, she looked around again, was something too good to be true.

"I thought you loved me, Sam," she began.  
He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair off her forehead. "Don't do this, Andy," he sighed, "We've been over this a million times. I love you, but it seems fate has other plans for us,"  
"Damn fate! Either you love me or you don't,"  
"I do, I swear! Don't ever question my love for you,"  
"If that's true, then stay. Don't take this assignment. Please."  
"I can't stay. We always fight, we always run. This is our normal."

He rose up off the bed and looked out the window. It was cold, that grey January day, and it had begun to drizzle. 'Damn freezing rain', he thought as he put on his jacket, picked up his duffle bag and headed for the door.  
"I have to go," he muttered almost under his breath.  
"Sam, no! I love you," she wailed, tears streaming down her face. He stopped and kissed her one last time, tasted the saltiness of her tears and memorized that taste before locking it away with all the other memories of her. Then he was gone, though the image of her agony was forever seared into his memory.

His deep cover assignment lasted ten years and almost zapped the life out of him. He resurfaced at 15, took the mandatory holidays and even did the time in rehab. He eventually resumed duty as a senior detective; a suit. Being back, he found his thoughts often wandered to Andy McNally. While he refrained from contacting her in any way, he kept tabs on her career from time to time. Shortly after he'd gone under, he discovered that she'd asked for a transfer from 15th Division and had moved to small town Ontario, far from the bright lights and busy-ness of the city.

She'd joined the national force, and was soon up for promotion. He was proud of all her achievements.  
He wondered if she ever thought of him, had she married? He resisted the urge to look her up because he was uncertain if they should even try walking this road again. For the hundredth time. His screw-ups, her screw-ups, their unwillingness to stop 'one-upping' each other. The heart-break just wasn't worth it. So Sam Swarek buried himself in his work. For ten long years after getting back from his UC he worked like a maniac, trying to forget. There was no social life for him, no personal life to speak of. His fling with Marlo Cruz went nowhere because she could sense he'd never be able to get over the love of his life, and she didn't want to be second best.

It was through speaking with Traci Nash one day last week, that he found out that Andy would be undergoing surgery. "It's serious, Sam, but they caught it early enough so her prognosis is very, very good," she'd told him. He was unconvinced. Cancer was a word that scared him to death.  
And so, he made up his mind to finally go see her. It was long past time. The simple fact was he couldn't live without her. Still, she might be happily married, who knew? Traci never spoke about Andy's home life, and Sam never asked. She might reject him all over again, but he wanted to make sure he told her, again, exactly how he felt, just in case it was the last time he would ever see her.

He stopped at the nurses' station to ask about Andy McNally. The nurse checked her computer and re-checked it to be sure. There's no one here by that name, she'd told him.  
"Wait, there must be must be a mistake. She was scheduled for surgery today,"  
"Just a minute," the nurse flipped the pages on a clip board. Sam drummed his fingers nervously on the arborite desktop.  
"We have an Andrea Nicholas-Collins, sir,"  
Sam sucked the air in through his teeth. "Of course, that's her married name." He lied. His mind raced. It had to be a phony name because as far as he knew, Andy and Nick Collins were just friends. Good friends. Old friends. Brother and sister type of friends. At least, that's how he remembered it twenty years ago'.  
"Ms. Nicholas-Collins in is room 341. Take the elevator or the stairs just down that hall,"  
"Thanks."

He practically raced down the hall. For a man in his early 50s he was remarkably fit. He looked great, he worked out every day. The only things that gave him away were the little wrinkles near his eyes and the greying hair on his temples. He paused and reflected on that for a moment. He was 51. That made her 45. He wondered if she'd changed that much.

He ran up the stairs, first flight, second flight, third flight. An arrow board with the room numbers on the wall ahead of him pointed him to the left. Number 341. He got there and was about to knock when someone reached the door from the inside, pulling it open with such a force it startled him.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said the voice. A male, in what Sam guessed to be his late teens looked at him, surprised.

Sam was struck dumb for a second. This boy's voice was eerily reminiscent of his own, just not as mature. He looked the boy up and down, still unable to speak. He was a couple inches taller than Sam, and he had an unruly head of thick, jet black hair. His eyes were deep chocolate brown, not unlike the colour of Andy's eyes.

"Hi," he finally said, "I'm an old friend of Andy McNally's, I was given this room number,"  
The boy silently walked back into the room, presumably to ask whether or not his mother was up to receiving a visitor. He came back within a couple minutes. "She's up for a visit. My name is Sam McNally, by the way," he said as he stuck out his hand.

Sam felt his heart beat fast in his throat.  
"Nice to meet you. I'm Detective Sam Swarek. I was your mom's training officer when she first graduated from the Academy,"  
Sam McNally nodded, a huge smile spreading over his face. It reminded Sam of Andy's infectious smile.  
"Awesome!" Sam McNally said in teenager fashion, then continued, "Well, I'm just going to the cafeteria to grab something to eat. I'll be back later,"  
Sam found he couldn't tear his eyes off the boy as he watched him disappear down the hall.

"Andy?" he called tentatively. Andy had propped herself up in her white bed. Sam hated everything about hospitals.

"Sam? Oh my. Is it really you Sam Swarek, after all these years?!" her voice sounded happily surprised. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of him. She still looked as beautiful as he remembered. Only a little older.

Sam flashed that smile that she so loved. "Hey! You look great!" he said, not knowing what else to say. He paused slightly. "I met your son at the door," he said, hoping to break the ice. "It has a nice ring to it, Sam McNally. I'm flattered you named him after me," he smiled. Andy nodded, then frowned just a little.  
Sam didn't know why she'd frown at what he'd said.  
"Sam's a wonderful boy. I've been blessed beyond measure having him in my life. He's given me so much hope and joy, not to mention stability in my life." Sam smiled at that.  
"You of all people deserve stability. I'm sure you're an excellent mom, Andy."  
"He's entering the Academy this fall, Sam...he turns twenty in October," her voice lingered on the word twenty. She locked her eyes on Sam's as if willing her thoughts to flow into his head.

Fully capable of detecting these little nuances, Sam narrowed his eyes and just stared at her. "Wait! What?" 'Could it be possible?', he asked himself. "Andy?"

"Do the math, Sam. I was only with you when I... we conceived... It happened, he happened, right before you left that January day. Samuel Thomas McNally. Our son. I didn't know until two months later, of course, and by then, you were long gone,"

Sam's eyes nearly popped out of his head. His stomach did these little flip flops and a silly grin made its way to his lips. "You're joking, right?" he managed to ask, looking intently at Andy.

"I'm not kidding, Sam. He's yours,"

"Damn! I knew it! I mean, I just had this weird feeling when I first saw him. From the moment I heard his voice, actually. He sounds like me." He laughed, reaching over to kiss her. "I can't believe it! "

Andy nodded in agreement. "I'm glad you're so happy with that news. And yes, he does sound a lot like you, it's eery sometimes," she mentioned wistfully.

"How can I be anything _but_ happy, Andy? He has your eyes and your smile by the way." Sam's mind was swirling. He was ecstatic.

They were silent for a few minutes, drinking all this new information in and the possibilities the future now held in store for them. Sam eventually broke their silence. "Did you tell him about me?"

"He knows that his father was a great cop who lived dangerously. He knows I was deeply in love with him when his job took him far away. He knows his dad would've been there for him if he'd been given a chance. He knows his dad loved us."

"It's all true. That's why I came to see you."

Andy watched as he made himself comfortable next to her on the bed. She couldn't stop smiling at seeing him so happy. She noticed the greying hair but most of all she noticed his physique. He hadn't gotten old and fat as some men his age. He looked pretty great, in fact. She felt her pulse jump with electricity at smelling his cologne. That hadn't changed either. It was as if time stood still for them. She rested her head on his chest, felt his arms hold her tightly against him. She revelled in the sound of his strong heart beating. Being together like this just felt so right. "Why you came to see me? What do you mean by that?"

He stroked her shoulder, at times tracing little circles with his thumb. "I heard from Trace that you'd be here. I didn't know how serious this operation was, I didn't know if you'd be happily married. I didn't care. But I did know that, like the grenade incident so long ago, I had to make things right and tell you how I felt." He took a deep breath. " I may have no right to say what I'm about to say, but, I love you, Andy, and after a life time away from you, I still do. Just so you know," Sam closed his eyes and swallowed hard, waiting for her response. At least she wasn't freaking out like the last time.

"Just in case I died, eh, Sam?" she nudged him gently in the ribs with her elbow.

"Don't do that, Andy. You know how I am. You know I struggle with getting the words out and I am the world's worst procrastinator. But when I say the words, I mean every single one of them."

"Tell me something, Andy. Why did you sign yourself in as Andrea Nicholas-Collins? Are you?"  
"Good heavens, no! Never. I never married, Sam, if that's what you're getting at,"  
"So? Why then?  
"I used an alias because I didn't want the whole world to come barging in looking for me. I wanted to fight this alone. It's how I operate,"  
Sam sighed at that. The sad truth was, they both operated that way.  
"I've changed, Andy. I don't want to live that way any more. Spent too much time being alone, and look what I missed out on," Sam switched gears, not wanting to make her sad. "However, being that you are currently alone, is there anything I can do to help? I've taken some time off, and I can take more if you need me."

Andy held his hands in hers. "Oh, I can think of something practical, I suppose. You can cook dinner for me every day, take out the garbage, walk my dog, or, you can just stay for a while and keep me company so we can catch up."

This reference made Sam laugh out loud. "I can totally do all of that! Do you have a dog?"  
"Yup," she chuckled  
"And?" he countered, vividly remembering the conversation they'd had before she left for Callaghan's taskforce.  
"A Labradoodle mutt from the pound!" they both said at the same time, roaring with laughter at this shared memory.  
"No, seriously, Andy," He spoke quietly. "Twenty years has made me more focussed. I know what I want... before it's too late, and now I just speak my mind. So here I am."

"I can see that. You're certainly not wasting any time,"  
"Then again, neither are you..." he returned playfully.

A nurse came in with medications and a chart. Sam jumped up from the bed, giving Andy a light kiss on the forehead. "I'll go find Sam," he announced. Andy grinned from ear to ear, silently waving goodbye.

"Aw, it's heartwarming to see two people so much in love. How long have you been together?"  
"More than twenty years, if you can believe that!" She knew it wasn't exactly what the nurse was asking.  
"Congratulations! You don't see too many relationships hanging on for that long nowadays. You two must be doing something right. Good chemistry, huh?"  
"Yeah, something like that," Andy answered.


	2. Chapter 2

*Thanks for the comments and suggestions. Here we go! I honestly don't know where this will end up, but while it's still fresh and still makes sense, I hope you will continue to enjoy! :)

The following day, Andy was discharged from the hospital. The surgeon was happy that the lumpectomy had gone well and was, so far, without complications. Andy was eating well enough, drinking a lot of water and getting a decent amount of rest, all things considered. Her GP had made her some follow-up appointments with an oncologist who would go over the next phase in this fight for her life.

Sam Swarek put up a brave front for her sake - deep inside he had never been so afraid that she might not make it through. He sat in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs in the corner of the room watching as the doctor examined Andy before letting her go home.

"Your oncologist will share your pathology report with you, Andy, and go over the radiation therapy you'll have to have over the next 5 to 7 weeks," the GP said.

Sam looked up. "Will she have these treatments here?,"

"No, she'll likely end up in Toronto,"

"Wait, that's nearly a six hour drive for her."

"True. It's best if she found accommodations in Toronto for that time,"

Andy smiled. "I have friends in the city,"

"Good. If that doesn't work, there are other options out there,"

"She'll be well taken care of, Doc," Sam pointed out, sounding a little more assertive than he'd intended.

The doctor looked at him. "I trust you'll take care of her, then," he forced a little smile at Sam.

"No doubt," he muttered, a little annoyed to be told what to do like that.

The physician turned his attention to Andy again, though he was clearly irked at Sam's tone.

"As for your incision care, you'll have to check for infections, Andy. Change the bandages once a day. There shouldn't be too much discharge from the site anymore. I'll get you a prescription for antibiotics and pain relief,"

"Thank you, Doctor Patterson," she sighed, feeling a little surprised by Sam's protectiveness of her.

Sam McNally did a double check of the room for items accidentally missed. "I think we've got everything, mom," he said as he grabbed her bags.

"Good, let's go home."

"Andy, I'm going to check out of my hotel- I'll catch up with you a little later," Sam Swarek told her.

Sam McNally looked from Sam to his mother. "Oh. Are you coming over, too, Sam?"

"Uh, yeah, your mom...," Sam took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. Andy recognised it as a sign he needed a little help from her.

"I asked him to stay with us for a couple days, Sam. I know you need to get back to your job,"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm actually on shift again tomorrow," he explained to Sam. He'd been working as an armoured guard for Brinks just until he went to the Academy.

Sam nodded.

"Come over when you're ready, Sam." Andy said, "We'll be waiting."

Swarek got into his truck and watched as Sam McNally left the hospital parking lot in his mom's red Honda CRV. He wondered what Sam was really like. He seemed good natured, but a little reserved, he thought, but then again, he had just met him. The boy was probably wondering about him and the exact nature of his friendship with Andy, too.

At the hotel, Sam flopped himself onto his freshly made bed. He felt drained, a tiredness of mind that comes from stress and over-thinking. He certainly had a lot to think about these past 48 hours. Too much information to process and sort through right now, he thought. He pulled out his phone and decided to call S/Sgt. Frank Best at work.

"Frank, hi. Just checking in."

Frank's voice relayed the concern he and everyone else who knew Andy was feeling. "Is she okay, Sam?"

"Andy's fine, tired and sore, but I guess that's to be expected,"

"Is there anything we can do?"

Sam closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Actually, I'll be back in the city soon, but I' ll need more time off. She's got appointments and uh, 6-8 weeks of radiation therapy,"

Frank sighed. "You take however many days you need, Sam, we've got Callaghan coming in to cover for you. And tell Andy we send our love."

Sam felt a huge wave of relief flood over him. "Thanks, Frank. I appreciate that. I'll call you again once we get back to the city."

He collected his shaving kit and toothbrush and pushed it into his rucksack, zipping it up and slinging it over his shoulder. He paid his bill, returned to his truck and sat collecting his thoughts for just a second.

This small city with a population of just over 10,000, Temiskaming Shores, seemed so quiet to him. In fact, its name alone sounded peaceful and romantic. Serene. He wasn't sure how much he liked that, being used to bustling Toronto all his life, but it was something he probably could get used to. Like being on holidays, maybe. He wondered how busy the police detachment was here.

Andy's directions to her house were spot on and Sam found it without any difficulty. As he got his stuff out of his truck, he noted she owned an older two storey character house, tastefully decorated. The yard was fenced, a couple ornamental fruit trees and a stately blue spruce dotted the front.

He walked up the steps leading to the gunmetal blue front door. He noticed the brass door knocker and name plate, 'McNally'. Was the door knocker ornamental, too? He saw a doorbell off to the right. He rang the bell and waited a little nervously. He heard a dog barking inside.

Sam opened the door and smiled at him. "Hi! Mom's just resting, but come in. Do you want something to drink?"

He sure wasn't shy, thought Sam. "Just water, please, Sam. Thanks,"

The white Labradoodle mutt from the pound sniffed Sam, then decided he was friendly.

"What's his name?" he asked.

"Boo," came the reply. No big surprise here, Sam Swarek thought to himself. He hung his coat up and propped his rucksack against the wall. Immediately, young Sam noticed. "If you want, you could put your stuff in your room," he offered.

"That's ok, Sam. We can do that later,"

He followed Sam into the kitchen where the boy got a glass from the cupboard and headed to the water cooler.

"Smells good in here. What're you making?" he inquired, trying to keep from reaching that awkward silent stage.

Again, young Sam smiled. "Just some roast chicken and sweet potatoes,"

"Well, if you want, I can make a salad. I have to get to a grocery store, actually, and I could pick up the ingredients,"

"Sure, if _you_ want," young Sam shrugged his shoulders indifferently and frowned at him. "But we've got salad stuff in the fridge, too,"

"Oh. No, I wasn't implying...," Sam stopped as Andy appeared, dressed in her overcoat and slippers. "Andy."

"I think Sam's got supper covered, Sam." She smiled at how funny that sounded. "You don't need to do a thing today. Tomorrow you can do the cooking, how's that?"

"Sounds good," he said, his voice edged with relief that she'd diverted a possible misunderstanding between him and his son.

Sam McNally poured a juice and excused himself. "I've got to call my boss about tomorrow's shift," he said.

As soon as they heard his door shut upstairs, Sam and Andy walked to the living room and settled in on the couch.

"How's your incision?" asked Sam, concerned that Andy looked a little pale and tired.

"Fine, it's throbbing a little, but I've felt worse pain,"

"Do you need anything, a pillow, blanket, meds?"

"I'm ok, Sam, really. Don't you worry so much," she said as she held his hand. "I've been thinking."

"About?"

Andy rolled her eyes at that. "God, Sam, what else!? Us. Him. The cancer. The future."

"That's a lot to try to sort through right now, Andy."

"I know, but I'm scared, and I'm excited, and I'm doubtful and I'm hopeful...all these emotions are coming at me all at once,"

"Me too, darling. But we need to focus on getting you well again, first and foremost. Everything else will have to wait." His fingers played with Andy's soft dark brown hair. A silence enveloped them as each was lost in thought.

"Kiss me, Sam, please."

"What?! Ohhh," she'd covered his mouth with hers before he could say anything else. He tasted mint. He closed his eyes and returned her kiss ever so gently, scared she would break under his touch. His thumb softly caressed her cheekbone, her eyes, felt the silkiness of her hair. Suddenly his entire being was awakened to all the memories he'd ever locked away, and he felt breathless from the rush.

"Ahem," came the sound at the top of the stairs. "Don't mean to interrupt, but, could you not do that in the living room, please?"

Sam and Andy instantly let go of each other, hearts pounding like school kids caught stealing a kiss.

"Sam!" Andy scolded, "You just about gave me a heart attack!"

Sam Swarek began to giggle, softly, so only Andy could hear. Andy glared at him, trying to keep a straight face for the sake of her son.

When the coast was clear, the younger Sam came bounding down the stairs. "It was just too quiet down here," he protested innocently, hands up, as a devious grin began to spread across his lips. Sam noticed he had dimples when he smiled, and watched, amazed, as he headed into the kitchen to check on the food.

"What do you _even_ know, Sam?" his mother called after him.

Andy and Sam exchanged glances.

"I think we need to tell him soon, Sam." Andy spoke in a hushed voice.

"You're right. Tell him I'm his dad, but I don't want to push anything else on him,"

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"Not that there is anything else to tell... right now," Andy remarked.

He stopped for a moment and stroked her arm, his dark eyes locked on hers, telling her quite a different story. Her stomach flip-flopped as he smiled knowingly, the warmth of a familiar blush began creeping slowly over her pale cheeks.

"Anywayyy," Sam cleared his throat and continued, "he needs to know I won't be moving in to take over his family and become the father figure all of a sudden. I'm fully aware of the fact that you two are very close. I don't want to get in the middle of that."

"You're so handsome when you're concerned, Sam Swarek," she whispered as she ran her finger over the five o'clock shadow forming on his jawline. "Now, let's eat, I'm feeling kind of hungry."

About half way through the meal, after the compliments and small talk, Sam McNally surprised them both.

"So, I know there's history between you guys," he paused, hoping they'd take the bait.

"Oh? And just how do you know this?" smirked Sam between forksful of mashed sweet potatoe.

"Oh, come on! Look at you two. So sweet and sappy, not to mention that scene in there just now," he nodded his head in the direction of the living room.

Andy swallowed her food and took a drink of water.

"Ok, yes. There's history. A long time ago, Sam and I were in a complicated relationship."

"Why, was he married before?"

"No. Just be quiet while we explain," Andy continued impatiently, "Besides, that would imply that I was a home wrecker." She glared at her son.

Sam picked up the conversation. "Your mom and I were both very involved in our jobs. We just couldn't balance the responsibilities of both our jobs and our private lives. Both took a lot out of us. We broke up. I took a long term undercover assignment that took me far, far away from her for a very long time,"

"We loved each other very deeply, Sam, and two months after Sam left on his assignment, I realized I was pregnant," she stopped, "With you. But he was deep cover, and I couldn't get a hold of him. I didn't know how he'd react, seeing we'd just broken up for good,"

"Had I known, Sam, I would've come back and try to make things work, just for the record,"

"So, when _did_ you find out about me, Sam?"

"Just a few days ago, at the hospital,"

Sam McNally looked at his mom. "Didn't you even _want_ to try and find him?"

Andy looked down. "It was over between us, Sam,"

"And now? Are you thinking of getting back together?" he continued to question them.

"Maybe, Sam. We don't know yet. We only just met again," Andy explained. She felt Sam's foot nudge hers under the table.

"My first priority, though," Sam began, "is to make sure your mom gets the love and support she needs and deserves to fight this cancer,"

"Of course," Sam said softly. He finished the food on his plate and excused himself.

"Okaaay," Andy breathed out, "so that went well."

"Yeah, really well. How does he handle these things, Andy? He seemed to shut down,"

"He's digesting it all, Sam. He just needs time and space. He'll be okay,"

"I hope so." Sam took the dirty dishes and began loading the dishwasher. Andy wiped the counters and stove top.

"No, Andy, you should rest. I'll clean up in here," Sam ordered.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam McNally came downstairs to see Sam making coffee. It was still early.

"Hey," he said, almost too soft for Sam to hear.

Sam turned around. "Morning." He smiled awkwardly, not really knowing how this would go.

"Do you want some?"

"No, I'm not that much of a coffee drinker."

"Don't blame you. I can't seem to live without it, though." he joked.

"Look, Sam," the young man paused, "um, this is strange for me. You being here, mom being sick. I mean, I get that you want to help her through, but it's my job to take care of my mom. It's always been that way," he sat down at the table.

"Can't we share that responsibility, Sam? Look, I'm really sorry you had to be the man around the house from such a young age. I swear, if I could turn back the clock I would."

Sam seemed to ignore that comment and went right in to what was on his mind.

"So, what exactly will happen now?" he asked, "She's going to Toronto for up to 8 weeks tomorrow. What do I do?"

Sam ran his hand through his hair. "I've been thinking about that. How long til you head to TO for school?"

"I go in late August."

"Ok, so it's end of May right now. Her treatments begin the fifth of June. They may take up to 8 weeks, possibly shorter. Do you know someone here who can look after Boo and the house for that time?"

"Are you thinking I should come, too?"

"Why not?"

"Uh, I have a job," the young Sam pointed out kind of sarcastically, gesturing with his hands. "Besides, who's going to take care of Boo on such short notice?"

Sam Swarek leaned against the counter, arms and ankles crossed. "Fair enough. So what do you suggest?"

"I'm an adult, Sam. I can take care of it."

Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Stubborn kid. His kid.

"If your mom's ok with that, but it would be helpful for her if she saw you once in a while during that time. And Boo, too."

"What if I stay here; two weeks on, a week off? I'll drive down to see her, bring Boo...where will she be staying?"

"My house, probably. I promise that I will take care of her,"

"Will I stay there, too?"

"You don't even have to ask. I have lots of room. Both you and Boo can run around out back, the yard is fenced." He grinned. Another Swarek attempt at levity. It was a habit, though not always timed right. Sam McNally chuckled at that, then grew quiet again.

"Is she going to die, Sam?" he whispered.

Sam's heart nearly stopped: his worst fear thrown out in the open like that. He hung his head for a moment and breathed deeply. He felt as if he'd been punched in the gut.

"I wish I could just say, no, but I can't promise anything, Sam. I do know she's a fighter. She'll be up against some tough times, but your mom's a strong, stubborn woman. We need to believe that she'll make it through, and encourage her...be positive, y' know?"

Sam nodded. "What will happen during her treatments?"

"Well, from what we've been told, she'll have daily appointments of maybe a half hour each, except weekends. They'll shoot the radiation into the area intermittently,"

"Will she lose her hair and get sick?"

"No, the pamphlet we got said unless the radiation was directed at her head, which it won't be, she wouldn't have hair loss. Here, take a look," he pulled a folded glossy brochure out of his shirt pocket and slid it across the table to Sam.

Swarek stood up and decided it was time to whip up a batch of his famous pancakes. Andy used to love this recipe.

"Hey, Sam, it'll be ok," he added. "Your mom's going to do so well. Before you know it she'll be back to her normal self and taking charge of the house again. You'll see."

He wanted to give his son a hug so bad his arms ached. Young Sam looked up at him from the table, his big brown 'Andy' eyes so sad and frightened, it broke his father's heart.

"Hey, come here," Sam told him, gesturing for him to stand up. Sam walked over and hugged his dad kind of awkwardly. They stood silently for just a moment, older Sam's hand on younger Sam's back, rubbing up and down in a soothing, comforting way. The moment wasn't lost on him as he shut his eyes tightly realising that this was the very first time he was holding his son. Not the tiny squirmy bundle most guys hold their first time, but a young man who needed to be reassured that everything would be okay as his life was about to change. A young man who needed his father's strength. And as he held him in that brief moment, he knew that this young man was his past, his present and his future all rolled into one.

"Let's make your mom some breakfast, ok?" Sam Swarek suggested, his voice thick with the emotions he had swirling around inside him.

The two of them were busy at work; Sam on pancake duty and Sam junior taking care of the scrambled eggs and bacon. It smelled wonderful in there! Andy's heart was filled with pride and awe as she stood wordlessly watching them from the stairs, standing side by side in her kitchen. They hadn't been aware of her presence, so she silently tip-toed back to her room, got in her bed and pulled the covers high. Tears ran down her cheeks and eventually her body was overcome with sobs. So she let the feelings come over her in waves. Sadness for her choice to never find Sam, happiness they were in the same house together now, guilt that her son didn't grow up with a dad, scared that she had cancer and would start radiation, so much was unknown.

She heard plates, mugs and cutlery, muffled voices, a creaky floorboard underfoot.

'Enough,' she thought as she fought to regain her composure, wiping her eyes and nose.

A soft rap on her door, slightly ajar, announced their arrival. Sam stood a little to the side as he watched young Sam bring in the tray and sit on the bed next to his mom. "Hey," she said, looking at both of them. "Wow, this is what I call a breakfast! Thank you!"

"Sam, come in," she told him as she patted a spot on the bed.

Labradoodle Boo also joined them, his little tail wagging to an fro. He was convinced he didn't want to be left out of the action.

"Here, Boo, sit!" The dog obeyed and was rewarded with a small piece of bacon.

They happily ate their breakfasts, then the men proceeded downstairs to clean up the kitchen. Sam noticed there was a more peaceful feeling between him and young Sam, perhaps owing to the father-son bonding that had occurred earlier that morning.

"Darling, I need to ask you something." Sam called up from the kitchen. "Do you want to stay with me at my house during this time?"

Andy came partway downstairs and leaned on the bannister. "Why? Will that be a problem?"

"No, just wanted to make sure you were good with that. I don't want to be presumptuous." he flashed her a big grin.

"Sam! Of course I want to stay at your place, if you'll have me,"

"You know that's not even an issue."

So it was agreed upon that Andy would stay at Sam's, and young Sam would come to visit her every third week.

Andy went upstairs again to pack a suitcase and gather some of her favourite novels and DVDs. She was certain Sam did not watch, let alone own, movies such as 'Pride and Prejudice' or 'Sense and Sensibility'. A little voice inside her prompted her to bring along some of young Sam's photo albums, pictures she hoped to share with Sam during their evenings alone. There were many things they could share and catch up on.

"Hey Mom?" called Sam. Mom, I have to go to work, so can I use the car?"

"Sam, we're leaving for Toronto this afternoon. I won't see you for a while, so yes, you can use the car,"

"Okayy, but I thought you were leaving tomorrow?"

"My appointment with the specialist was moved up. It's better we go today, so..."

Andy gave him a big hug. "You take care of yourself and Boo, ok? And be sure to come up and see me,"

"I will, Mom,"

"Now, we should have enough food to last you. If you need to get groceries, I've left you some money,"

"Mom, I've got money. Don't worry,"

"Oh Sammy," she replied, "I love you so much! I'm going to miss you,"

"Mom. I love you too, but I'm going to be late for work," he kissed her cheek. "Drive safe, and call me when you arrive, ok?"

Sam Swarek found where the park was and decided to take Boo for a walk. Sam found exercise helped clear his head, which happened to be pounding furiously.

He called Sarah to give her an account of the incredible things that had happened.

"Hey Sare, guess what?"

"Sam, where are you?"

He paused for a second, letting the suspense build. He knew Sarah hated waiting. "At Andy's..."

"Oh my, what happened?" she was alarmed and surprised, knowing Sam and Andy had fallen out of touch for longer than they were a couple.

"Nothing bad, Sare, really." That didn't sound right, so he corrected himself. "Well, ok, something bad,"

"Sam! Spit it out! What are you doing at Andy's? Is she ok?"

"No, as a matter of fact. She has breast cancer."

Silence on the other end. "Oh Sammy, I'm so sorry."

Sarah and Andy had gotten along really well, eons ago. It broke Sarah's heart to see her brother so lost without her when they finally broke up.

"Anyway, Sare," Sam continued a little impatiently, "I came to see her after I found out about the cancer. I'm going to be there for her, she's staying with me during her radiation therapy,"

"Whoa, slow down. Why you? Doesn't she have anyone to take care of her?"

"That's the thing. She doesn't. Never did since..." he trailed off and swallowed.

"Ok. Well, that's good of you, Sam. You still have feelings for her?"

Leave it to Sarah to bring that up, he mused. "Always, you know that,"

"And, how about her?"

"I think so. She hasn't come out and said it, but I'm ok with that. She's got a lot on her plate, you know?"

"I'm sure she loves you, too, Sam. And you're right not to push her. You just support her and be positive. Treat her like a queen,"

"I know. I will. And Sarah? There's one other thing."

"What? OMG," she sounded alarmed again. Sam smiled into the phone, stopping at a bush so Boo could do his business.

"You're an auntie, Sare,"

"She's got a kid? Wait a second...YOUR kid!?"

"Yeah, just found out. I'm over the moon!"

Sarah screamed with excitement. "Oh Sammy! I'm an auntie! Tell me more. Boy, girl, name, age..."

"Boy, Sam, turns twenty in October."

"She named him after you! I love her!"

"That makes two of us, "

"You all have to come visit me!"

"Well, why don't you come visit me in a few weeks? They'll both be at my house. I'm sure Andy would love to see you again."

"I could do that! Oh, I'm so excited, Sammy!"

"Listen, I have to go, Sarah. I'll talk to you soon," he hung up and headed back up Andy's driveway.

He walked Boo to the back yard where his water dish was. Poor Boo was exhausted and after finishing his drink went off to lay under a tree. Sam went in by way of the back door and filled a glass with icy water from the cooler.

"Sam?" Andy called.

"Yup, right here,"

"That was a long walk! Do you feel better? Do you want a Tylenol?" she met him in the kitchen and put her hand on his shoulder. She had an uncanny way of reading him.

"No, I'm good, thanks," he put down his glass and wrapped his arms around her waist. He just looked at her, taking in every detail of his precious, beautiful Andy. She outlined his face with her fingertips, savouring the moment. Sam felt chills go up and down his spine as he pulled her closer to himself. She rested her head on his chest and held on tighter.

"How are you feeling, Sam, really?" she murmured.

"Honestly. I'm exhausted and I'm scared. I haven't been able to sleep, Andy, for the nightmares. You?"

"I'm terrified. I keep going over everything, all the what ifs, the missed opportunities."

He moved some of her hair behind her ear and lifted her chin. "Listen, Andy. Don't look back, ok? Look forward. You're a fighter. I know you and you don't give up. I promise you now, that I have no plans to go away; I'll be here every single day as you go through the treatments, and after, too."

"I know, Sam. Thank you for all you've done, I know it's not easy for you, either,"

"It's not about me, Andy. So don't fret. Please."

He tenderly planted a soft kiss on her lips, the tip of her nose, her forehead. She closed her eyes as he ran his fingertips over the smooth skin on her neck. She soon felt his warm breath there and shivered. She'd missed this -him- so much.

"Well, where's your suitcase? It's time we hit the road. Got a long drive ahead of us,"

"I know. The suitcase is upstairs," she grabbed her light jacket and waited by the door. "I hope I'm not forgetting anything," she added nervously. Sam bounded up the stairs. "Oh, Sam, maybe we should put Boo in. It'll be a while before Sam comes home,"

"Yes, ma'am," Sam replied, doing a little bow.

Andy took one last look around.

"He'll be fine, darling. Now, come on. We have to go," Sam tugged on the doorknob to make sure the door was closed tightly. Andy was already waiting for him at the truck.

He unlocked her side and helped her in.

After buckling up, he took a sideways look at her. "Ready to rock and roll?"

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and slowly breathed out. "Yeah. I'm as ready as I'll ever be."


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: Mild suggestive language near the bottom. Sam/Andy.

"Home sweet home," Sam announced as Andy just woke up from a little nap.

"Hey, this isn't the same place I remember,"

"That's 'cause it's not. I bought this after I got back,"

"Ah, well, it's nice. And big. How many rooms?"

"Three up and two down. Lots of room for a family," he grinned.

He moved Andy's suitcase and her tote into the largest spare room. "I'm going to move you into my room later since there's an ensuite. I just have to clear my stuff out," he explained. Andy began to protest. "Not asking, Andy. You make yourself comfortable, the bathroom's just down the hall and to your left. Living room is...well, over there, with the TV and stuff. Oh, and I think there's food in the fridge," he teased. Andy walked around, familiarizing herself when she heard Sam's phone ringing.

"What great timing! We haven't been here for five minutes and already you've got a call," she called out.

Sam closed the door. "Hey Trace, yeah, we just got in the door. She's looking around the place. Thanks. I think it's coming...right...about...NOW!" He held up the phone to let Traci hear, then said goodbye and waited for her Andy.

"Oh my goodness! Sam! You shouldn't have," Andy shouted from the dining room. There on the table sat the largest bouquet of red, white, yellow and peach long stem roses interspersed with baby's breath and other greenery. A simple white envelope sat leaning against the vase, addressed to her. With shaky hands she popped open the envelope. She was stunned at what was printed inside.

_"A man does not recover from such devotion of the heart to such a woman! He ought not; he does not." _Jane Austen_, Persuasion_

Stunned, because he had chosen to use a quote from one of her favourite authors, Jane Austen. Not even in her wildest dreams would she have guessed Sam Swarek was even remotely knowledgeable in the classics, especially Jane Austen. She'd never watched movies based on Austen's books when they were together. If he knew, it wasn't from her.

"Sam?!" she ran to where he sat on the bed patiently waiting. She had tears in her eyes and flung her arms around his neck. "Thank you so much! How did you know?"

He smiled. "You're welcome, McNally. I have my sources and it's my job to find out," he tickled her ribs and rolled her over onto the bed. She squirmed under his hands. "God, you're still so ticklish," he teased, amused by her reactions. "Stop it, Sam!" she breathed between giggle fits. He relented and just lay down beside her, staring up at the ceiling.

"So, I'm starving," Andy announced matter of factly, "What do you have to eat around here?"

"I was intending to order take out and have a nice relaxing evening at home, then a good night's sleep. I'm beat,"

"Hmm. Well, that sounds absolutely perfect. I brought some of Sam's photo albums,"

"Seriously!? I'd love to see pictures of him as a baby! You're so thoughtful," he looked gratefully into her warm brown eyes, "I want you to feel comfortable here, Andy. You know the saying, 'Mi casa, su casa'," he joked, skirting around the moment. "So, tomorrow we have that consult with the oncologist, yeah?"

"Yes, at 10. Then another one at 1:00 with the dietician, and I imagine the usual paperwork. Why? Did you have plans?"

"No, I just need to see Frank is all, I promised I would see him when we got back. Want to come with me?"

Andy hesitated for a moment. She hadn't been back to 15 in a very long time. When she left, it held too many reminders of Sam for her and she never looked back. She felt a little ashamed, to be truthful.

"When I left 15, Sam, I never looked back. I sort of lost touch with most of them, not Traci or Nick, but Frank, Noelle, even Oliver. I'm not too proud of how I handled it."

"It is what it is. Andy, you did what you had to do under the circumstances. If any of my friends had ever found out you were pregnant, they'd have tried to reach me. It's not what you wanted. I understand that."

"Do you think they can forgive my rude behaviour?"

Sam rolled over onto his stomach to look at her, head propped on his arm. "Darling, if I can forgive your rude behaviour, then they have no reason to hang on. I'm sure they're not that petty," he smiled and reached to touch her face. "They send you their love, as a matter of fact. I was supposed to tell you that a few days ago, but I forgot. Anyway, if you feel it's too much to come to the division tomorrow, it's no big deal."

"No, I guess we're all about mending fences this time, so I'll come. It'll be good to see everyone again,"

"Hey, did you know Zoe and Oliver are grandparents? Frank and Noelle's girl is getting married..."

"Oh my, I never stopped to think about that, but yeah, I guess that's completely possible. I bet the Shaws are great grandparents,"

"Hi Andy, I'm Dr. Patel, your cancer specialist, and this is Dr. Howe, the radiologist. I'd like to share your pathology report with you, briefly, then go over your schedule for the next six weeks,"

""Six? I thought it was 8?"

"It may take up to 8 weeks, sometimes, but I'm pretty sure you won't need that. On a scale of 3, your 'score' is a 1, meaning that the cells are just slightly abnormal and the rate of growth is slow."

"So this is good, right?"

"Yes, the tumor itself was less than 2 cm and we didn't find that it had affected the lymph nodes. So, that is also good,"

Andy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She held tightly to Sam, who squeezed her hand.

The specialist continued, "On the 5th, you'll need to be in the radiation department by 7:30 a.m. they'll set you up and begin your first treatment at around 8. I have a map and a FAQ sheet in the envelope over there," she nodded to the table by the door.

Sam piped up, "Can you explain exactly what she can expect?"

"Well, it would be like getting an x-ray. Painless, you can't move. Don't hold your breath, just breathe. The machine can be a bit intimidating, it's rather large and clunky, but you'll get used to it,"

"And side effects?"

"Well, there could be fatigue, loss of energy, that sort of thing. "You might have lowered white blood cells in your blood. These are the cells we need to fight infection. When that happens, we need to possibly delay the treatment.

Dr. Howe addressed this issue, explaining as best as he could. "You might find that the skin in the affected area will be sore and dry. You'll get special lotion for that, by the way. The skin will also be red and warm to the touch for some time. It might begin to peel, like a sunburn.

There might also be loss of appetite. Your meeting with the dietician will further go into that aspect."

Andy and Sam exchanged glances, taking in all this new information. Sam squeezed her hand again.

Andy was right about the paperwork, which they got into next. "Well, if you have no further questions, we'll see you bright and early tomorrow," said Dr. Howe, holding the door open.

"No, I think we're good," Andy mumbled, a little shaken by the possibility of side effects. "Thanks,"

"God, did I ever tell you how much I dislike hospitals?" Sam asked as they headed past reception and out the front doors.

"That's not exactly comforting, Sam,"

"Sorry." The fact was, and he refrained from further explaining this to Andy, that Sam had begun to associate bad events with hospitals. Jerry's death, for example. That was the start of a series of bad events in his life, none of them things he thought about very often.

Andy was silent, lost in her own thoughts.

"So, it's 11:20," Sam announced, "What do you want to do now? We might as well stay in the area, seeing your next appointment is right after lunch."

"Andy?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I wasn't really listening,"

"I asked what you want to do now. We've got some time to kill before your next appointment."

"Lunch? Window shopping? Aimless wandering...I just don't know, Sam."

Sam got a little nervous at Andy's outburst; she couldn't lose it now, they hadn't even begun yet. "Ok, you know what," he explained, "I know this great restaurant just a few blocks from here. We could walk, you know, get some exercise. It's really nice out..." Now who was losing it?

He pulled her off the crowded sidewalk into a little alleyway, and leaned her against the brick wall.

"Darling, it's ok to be nervous. The good thing is your report is positive. The side effects probably aren't too bad. Plus you're not going to lose your hair. Bonus, right?"

"Not funny, Sam. You won't know about the side effects."

"No, I won't experience them the way you will, though I would if it meant you'd be spared. But Andy, I told you that more than once. I'll be here for you. And your friends will be here for you. And Sammy. He still needs you."

"I know, Sam," she sighed, then cupped his face in her hands and whispered, "And you. Wonderful you. I love you, Sam, and I don't know how I'd get through this without you," she cried into his shoulder. Sam couldn't do anything but hold her. He had no clever words that could make her feel better. He didn't even have a lousy joke.

In the truck after the dietician's meeting, Andy went through the stack of brochures and other goodies tucked into the yellow envelope. "Oh, it says I might lose weight," she said to no one in particular.

Sam kept his eyes on the road. He knew better than to say anything.

"So, I'm going in to talk to Frank, " he reminded her after a while.

"I remember. I talked to Traci earlier. Kept her updated on the doctors, and all."

"Good, she'll be a friendly face, then..." he joked.  
Andy rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm coming inside," she motioned with a nod of her head as Sam parked in his favourite spot.

"Good. Andy, it'll be fine." He opened passenger door for her and waited. When she had finished brushing the wrinkles out of her blouse, they walked side by side to the familiar front doors.

His arm brushed hers as he reached for her hand. It felt like deja vu.

"Hey Sammy! Oh my goodness, it's the lovely Andy!" Oliver Shaw greeted as they walked in. They stopped and Oliver hugged Andy. "Good to see you, dear. It's been ages, how are you feeling?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm good, Ollie, thanks. It has been a while. Heard you're a grandpa," she smiled warmly at this.

"Yup, our little Noah. He's just adorable,"

"Hey, bro, good to have you back," he addressed Sam, who was idly standing by.

"Yeah, good to see you, man. Listen, I'm in to see Frank. Andy?"

"You go ahead. I'll go find Traci,"

"Well, how about I take you to her office, McNally?" Oliver volunteered as he took Andy by the arm.

"Oh my god," Traci screamed as she bolted from her desk to the door, hugging her friend."You're looking so good, girl. Come in!"

"Thanks, you're looking great, too. I'm sorry it's been so long,"

"No, it's ok, life gets busy. I understand. How's Sammy?"

"He's good. You mean my little Sam, right?" Andy wanted to make sure it was her son Traci was referring to.

"Yes, of course I mean your son! I already know how his father is, by the way. Did you like the roses I picked up for you? I heard you screaming when you found them."

"You did?!"

"Uh huh. I was in the loop the whole time. He's as crazy about you now as he ever was, Andy. More, actually,"

"I know. It's amazing, how much we click...even after all that's happened,"

"He's a keeper. He's changed so much,"

"I'm beginning to see that, Trace. So, how is Leo?"

"Good. He's doing really well, keeping himself busy playing hockey in Europe,"

"Still? It's June."

"Yeah, he'll be home in a couple of weeks,"

"You must miss him,"

"Meh," Traci said, "I'm ok because I have Luke to keep me company."

"Wait! Luke?! As in Callaghan?"

"No, Luke, as in my little puppy. Fooled you, huh!?" Traci burst out laughing. "You should've seen your face, Andy! Priceless!"

They were almost in tears when Sam stood, hands folded across his chest, in the doorway, looking from one to the other. He shook his head. "Looks like old times," he said drily.

"Hey, come in, you!" Traci told him. He came in a gave her a hug in greeting.

Traci beamed. "So, I hear congratulations are in order, Dad,"

"God, yeah! Thanks, I couldn't be happier!" Sam grinned from ear to ear.

"I'm sorry I never mentioned...this secret, Sam. I swore I wouldn't," she looked at Andy.

"Yeah, well. It's all good, Traci. You're a good friend,"

He turned his attention at Andy. "All set, beautiful?"

"Yeah, we're going to catch up more another day. Lunch next week, Trace?"

"Sounds good. I'm so glad to have you close again, Andy." She hugged her friend tightly. "Lunch will be on me, ok? Just call me with a day that works best for you,"

"See, I told you everything would be good,"

"Well, I did only see Ollie and Traci. But yeah, it was good. It even felt good to be back inside 15."

"You sound surprised at that," he briefly glanced over his shoulder at her. The light turned green ahead and Sam's attention was on the road once again.

"I guess I am a little surprised, but in a good way, you know?

Sam smiled but remained quiet.

The first day of her treatment went really well, and the first week flew by. Then the second. They had fallen into somewhat of a comfortable routine, beginning at 6 a.m. for breakfast in bed. Every day.

In the adjacent room, Andy heard Sam's alarm go off at 5:30 the next morning and him moving around in the kitchen to his favourite radio channel, making coffee and whatever it was he had planned for breakfast.

She remembered him to be the chipper and bright morning person, where she tended to be more of a night owl. She turned over and fell fast asleep again.

"Morning, sunshine," he whispered a half hour later, as he pulled back the covers just enough to slide into bed with her. She instantly felt his legs, chilled by the early morning air, touch against hers. "Sam! You're so cold," she protested. He chuckled. "Sorry, dear. I don't sleep in pyjamas,"

"I can feel that, now move over, please,"

"Eat your breakfast, grumpy," he teased, taking his plate of eggs and toast.

"Ummm, this is good," she mumbled through a half full mouth. She drank her coffee, cream and sugar just as she liked it. It was the little things, she noted, that he either remembered from before or made an effort to find out, like the romantic quote from 'Persuasion'. He was showing her every day in the ordinary things that he cared deeply for her. She hadn't felt this loved in a long time.

"Sam," she announced, once they'd moved the tray off the bed. She cuddled in closer to him for a little while. He wrapped himself around her, spooning her.

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking, you've been very wonderful to me the past three weeks, first at my house, and now here, but not once have you made any, you know, moves," she trailed off.

"No, I haven't. On purpose, " he rested his chin against the back of her head.

"On purpose? Don't you find me attractive anymore?"

He was silent for a while, struck that she might interpret his lack of sexual advances as somehow indicating he didn't physically want her.

"Um, no. That's not it, Andy. I'm fully aware of how I'm feeling, and I know one of the things we talked about before was how we just jumped into a physical relationship without actually getting to know each other. You're precious to me, Andy, and I don't want to make the same mistakes over again. It's not that I don't want to make love to you. You are the most desirable woman on the planet for me, you have to believe that. You drive me wild, Andy McNally. For years I've managed to not think about you because I knew thinking about you without actually having you...it would drive me insane. I feel heady every time I'm near you. You leave me breathless. Even how we're together like this," he paused for a moment, " is taking all I have to not roll you over right now."

Andy grabbed his hand from where he had it rested her belly and raised it to her lips, softly kissing each fingertip. She felt his breath on her skin.

"Andy, I know you're over-thinking what I've just said,"

"No, I see where you're going with this. I can even agree with you, sort of," she replied, breaking free of her position to face him directly. "But it doesn't change the fact that I want you, Sam Swarek, and that I need to feel close to you like that again. '

She surprised him by sliding a hand in between his legs. Sam's heart beat faster, he closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. "I forgot how persuasive you could be. Duly noted, McNally...and stored for another time," he whispered. "We have to get dressed and head out soon, it's time. He propped himself up onto his elbow. "Today is Friday, and that means we need to get home after the appointment and get organized for some company,"

Andy rolled onto her back. "You're right. I can't wait, Sam! It'll be so good to have Sam and Sarah coming over tonight. She must be excited to meet him, huh?"

"Crazy excited. Did you warn him about her?"

"Yup. He's excited to meet her, too, and eventually his cousins."

Sarah's two children were so much older than young Sam. They had young families of their own now.

"God, I wish I weren't an only child," she sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

"It is what it is, love, and now Sammy's an only child. I'll happily make do with what I have, though. Who knows, maybe, when he is old enough to raise a family of his own, we'll be blessed with countless grandchildren!" he laughed at that.

For Andy, what he said, about the possibility of being grandparents together, made her all the more certain of what she was about to say next.

"Honey, when this is all over," she hesitated and lightly traced a finger over his chest.

"Hmm. When this is all over, "

"I'd ask you to marry me, because we need to set up properly and be a family with one household under one roof," She held her breath as she awaited his response. She'd basically asked Sam to marry her, unofficially, anyway. She smiled at him sweetly, as if this was the most ordinary thing she'd ever done.

Sam's jaw dropped a little. "Oh my god, Andy? Where did that come from?"

He was shocked, though happy to hear it coming from her. He'd wondered how she felt about them and the possibility of being together as a couple again.

"Well, you were talking about Sammy's future, and us maybe being grandparents one day...and I know I want that, Sam. With you. Good idea or not?," she asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

He smiled at the woman of his dreams, his soulmate, laying next to him. "Um, good. Definitely good. Just you've been so quiet on this subject, I thought you'd need more time to think it through."

"Well then it's settled. Just don't mention it yet, hmm?" She reached over and pecked him lightly on the cheek.

"Yes, Ma'am!" he joked.


	5. Chapter 5

Dear readers: I'm listening. Note the re-write not because I don't think the characters could have been intimate, but because perhaps being at an older stage in their lives, they really are more mature to handle their relationship without necessarily jumping in the sack. I felt perhaps I took the easy route and ended up compromising the uniqueness of the story. I can't honestly say I was completely satisfied with the way that turned out. So...learning curve. I asked myself, would I be happy sharing the story as was with my personal friends or family. The answer led me to rethink this chapter and eventually to do the re-write. As Andy's therapy (and time in Toronto ) comes to an end, where will they be going from here?

The weekend with Sarah went off without a hitch. Sam and Andy had previously discussed telling Sarah and Sam about their plans for later, and decided they'd best be let in on their secret before anyone else.

It all unfolded pretty wonderfully, with Sarah and Andy spending time bonding and catching up on old times in the living room, and Sam and Sam cooking together in the kitchen. The music was turned up, thus masking the conversation the father and son duo were having. Occasionally Andy would glance in their direction and smile. Sarah moved from the loveseat to the sofa, just a cushion separating the sisters in law.

"Andy, I'm so glad you're back!" Sarah gushed, patting her on the knee.

Andy's smile was broad and genuine. "You know, Sarah, I'm beginning to think this chance meeting of ours happened by some sort of divine intervention. Sam and I couldn't have planned in any better. Just timing, I guess. Fate. Whatever. I'm so glad he's in my life again. You know, we messed things up pretty badly back then, going a hundred miles an hour...

Sarah interrupted. "But you haven't even been together 6 weeks yet and look at you guys,"

"I know it looks fast, but for us, I mean, we've known each other for such a long time. We've been as close as you can get, there are no surprises. We just know that after all the time apart we want to spend the rest of our lives together. This is the right pace for us at this time in our lives. We have a son who one day will have a family of his own. I can't bear the thought of him not having us around, together, Sare. Do you get what I'm saying? We've come to look at our lives in a new way, and we're not taking anything for granted. We got a second chance."

"You are both so very lucky, Andy. Take that chance and run with it. You both deserve it after all that has happened. And you gave me a sweet and handsome nephew. He reminds me a lot of Sam when he was his age, well, maybe a little younger. I brought some pictures of Sam, too, you know."

Andy scooted a little closer and waited patiently while Sarah dug around in her bag. "Here we go," she said as she sat an album on her lap. "Hey, that's more than just 'some' pictures!, " Andy exclaimed happily.

"Ladies, supper's ready," Sam junior announced cheerfully. He found his aunt and his mom sitting side by side on the sofa chattering... about what? His curiosity was piqued and he soon found himself standing next to them, looking at the old photographs of his father as a teen. He looked incredibly like himself, Sam thought.

Not sure what was going on in the living room, Sam came out eventually, "Hey you guys, supper's getting cold," quickly followed by an alarmed tone, "Sarah! You didn't!"

Everyone was laughing. "Sarah, oh my god, what on earth are you showing them?"

"Relax, Sammy. It's not that bad, " Sarah said, though Sam knew she didn't mean it.

He took a look at the photo in question. There was Sam, maybe 17 years old in a red speedo, obviously suntanning, for his skin glistened in the sunshine, and then posing for a picture.

"Oh come on, Sarah! You're going to drive them away. If they leave it'll be your fault and I'll never forgive you!" he chuckled, embarrassed.

He planted himself on the arm rest of the sofa, next to Andy. "Come on, doesn't any one care that my son and I worked for hours to create the most delicious supper?," he pretended to be hurt.

"Hey, Sam, I'll join you for supper, at least," said young Sam sympathetically.

"No, we'll all come," conceded Andy, wiping away a tear. She hadn't laughed this hard since her visit with Traci. It felt good to laugh like that.

"Good I make you laugh, McNally," Sam grumbled as he glared at his big sister.

"It's all good natured fun, Sammy. Andy's seen much, much worse, no doubt!" she cackled.

"Witch, you sound like a witch, Sarah!"

Late that night, with the guests sorted into their respective rooms downstairs, Andy and Sam finally had a little time to unwind.

He came and sat on her bed as she read him a chapter of her favourite novel.

"I like that," he finally said. "When did you get so interested in the Austen books?"

"Um, well, it must've been after I moved away. Baby Sam would go down for the night in his little cradle and I would read, when I wasn't too tired,"

"Did you think of me?" he asked earnestly.

"All the time, Sam. I would sometimes imagine that the plot of this story or one of the other ones would happen in my life, somehow."

"Well, it sort of did, only much, much longer than the 8 years that passed between Captain Wentworth and the lovely Anne."

Andy nodded, feeling a bit sleepy.

"Sam, I really enjoyed supper tonight. I had a very good visit with Sarah, too. Thank you for arranging all that,"

He held her close and felt her hair catch on the stubble on his jawline. "It was good to see you all so happy. My family, the only people I have on this earth, all under my roof."

"Sam, stay with me tonight," Andy whispered.

"I knew you'd ask, sooner or later," he mumbled, "but, no."

"Hmm. Am I that transparent, then?"

"You are, and I appreciate it, but, I think it's important that we waited. I'm just scared, Andy, I'll come right out and say it. I don't want anything to get in the way of our relationship developing without that,"

Andy was quiet. She knew he was right. Again. No point pressing this issue any further, then.

"Alright, just thought I'd try," she said with a little coy smile.

"You never stop trying, do you, McNally?" Sam kissed her chastely on the forehead, before leaving her room for his own. It was tough, alright, but inside he knew it was the only way to prove to her that he loved far more than that.

At breakfast the next morning, Sam asked his son if he jogged or worked out at all.

"Yeah, I have some DVDs that I like to work out to everyday,"

"That's great! Did you bring them?"

"Yep, they're in my bag downstairs. Wanna see them?"

"Definitely. I need to do something. I thought you'd like to come for a jog, maybe?"

"When?"

"In about an hour?"

Sam McNally looked at him mom, who was stirring her coffee. "Are you up for some exercise, mom?"

"Oh, wait!" said Sam suddenly, connecting the dots. "You guys are partners, right?"

Andy smiled. "Yes, it's a little thing we developed some time ago,"

"And? How are you feeling, Andy? Wanna come for a slow jog around the park?"

"Well, I'll come with you, but maybe I'll just walk with Sarah and the Boo-ster,"

They all looked at Sarah. "Hey, don't look at me, she said, her hands raised in the air in a gesture Sam often made. "I'm in. I can't pass up an opportunity to spend some time with my sister in law!"

The land line rang just as Sam junior stepped into the kitchen after their family outing. Not thinking much of it, he picked it up.

"Hey," he said expectantly.

"Sammy? Is that you, bro?"

"Uh, yeaahh?, " This was getting a little weird.

"Hey, man, I didn't recognize you there for a sec. Listen, feel like joining me for lunch and maybe a drink at the Penny,"

Then Sam realised this call was for his father. He held the phone away from him and called out, "Sam! Phone's for you,"

The person on the other line heard and was more than a little shocked.

"Hello," Sam answered brusquely, his usual way.

"Who was that, Sam?"

"Oh. Oliver. That was, um, that was my son, Sam," Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, as he always did when deep in thought, or caught in a situation he wasn't too comfortable with.

Oliver nearly fainted. "Repeat that? Your son!?"

"Uh, yeah. It's a long story. Got some time?"

"That's why I called. I'll meet you for lunch at the Penny, ok? Noon."

"That's in half an hour. I need to shower and change, first,"

"Ok, 12:30, then."

"Good, I'll see you,"

"Oh, and Sam, why don't you bring him along..he's old enough, right? He's about to meet his Uncle Ollie, hey?

Sam grinned. "You'll like him, Oliver, and yes, he's old enough,"

Oliver was already waiting at a table when Sam and Sam walked in, squinting their eyes as they adjusted to the dimly lit Penny. Oliver motioned to them, amazed at how much these two looked alike.

"Hey Sammy! And son,"

"Ollie, this is my son, Sam McNally," he watched for Oliver's reaction.

"Andy's son," Oliver commented, looking at his best friend. "Um, I mean, your son, too,"

Sam junior nodded to Oliver in greeting.

Father and son sat down. Oliver was watching both - looking from father to son and back again.

"Well done, Swarek," he said finally. "He looks the spitting image of you,"

"He's got Andy's eyes and smile," Sam corrected, tussling the young man's hair.

"He sounds just like you. I swear I was talking to you this morning," Oliver grinned.

"How about we stop talking as if I'm not here," Sam McNally suggested, not impolitely.

Oliver nodded. "Good idea, son,"

They ordered steak sandwiches and salads, as well as a pitcher of beer, which was Oliver's idea.

An hour into lunch, Sam McNally announced he was going to go, perhaps catch a bus and take a tour around downtown. "It was good to meet you, Oliver, and thanks for the lunch,"

"You're welcome, Sam. I hope to see more of you!" Oliver returned.

"You've got my number, yeah?" his father called after him.

"I'm good, Sam," and he replied and was gone.

Sam and Oliver continued catching up.

"Bro, when did you find out about him?" Oliver asked, leaning in towards Sam.

"The same day I first saw Andy, in the hospital,"

"Whoa, she didn't waste any time, did she?"

"Nope, came straight out with it,"

"Bet you were floored!"

"You know, when I first laid eyes on him - before she told me, I thought how much he looked like her, and then I heard him speak, and I heard myself. I had a feeling he might be mine,"

"Fascinating," Oliver sighed, then, "And she left 15 not three months after you left. She must've known by then,"

"I'm guessing. She didn't want anyone to know about her pregnancy. We were over by then,"

"And now, you two are back together officially?,"

"You know it, bro. It's just a decision we came to. Too much time wasted already, and we have a son who's still young and needs us,"

"Sometimes, life's funny. Things that used to matter so much, mean very little given a new perspective,"

"You got that right. So how are things at the Shaw residence?"

"Great. We get out little Noah for a weekend next week. Sam, I can't believe how much fun we have being him. It's fun to spoil him and then send him back to his mommy and daddy," he chuckled.

Sam nodded his head. "You can be sure I'll be taking notes, bro, " he said, his eyes smiling.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam hung up his phone and returned to the bedroom where Andy was already getting dressed for her appointment.

"What's the matter? she asked, noticing he was a little agitated. Sam ran his hand through his hair.

"Callaghan just called. He needs to go on assignment in Ottawa this afternoon and he's taking Traci with him."

"So?"

"So, it means there are no back ups to fill in for me, and I have to go back to work,"

"But that's good, isn't it? You've been here all this time, taking care of me, but I think it'd do you some good to get back into your work,"

Sam frowned. "But your appointments,"

"I've got less than a week left, Sam, If you're needed at work, then you go."

"I'll start a little later then, maybe after I drop you off at home?" He hugged her. "I feel bad, Andy, really. But they're so short staffed,"

"Sam, you should go." She she held his hand. "I'll be fine. You've done so much for me already. So, what's for breakfast, love?"

He led her downstairs and sat her at the table. "Whey pancakes and fresh fruit,"

"Oooh. Sounds delicious,"

Andy turned to look at Sam. "I mean it, Sam. All the things you've done for me. I appreciate every single one."

"Good, then I know I'm doing my job," he smiled.

Andy had a final doctor's appointment with Dr. Patel on Thursday afternoon, week 5. She'd felt a little nervous but was quickly put at ease.

"Andy, I'd like to order a series of tests to ensure the therapy has been working for you. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, sometimes tired, but nothing too bad,"

"Good. We're coming to the end of your schedule, as you are aware, so these tests will just tell me if we'll need any more sessions. If not, then you are free to go home. Though you will still have follow-up care for the rest of your life,"

"I understand. I can't believe we're at this point already. I can't wait to go home,"

"Well, if we find any abnormalities, or anything that we think might be cause for concern, we'll call you. Meantime, you still have tomorrow's treatment and then the tests. So, unless you hear otherwise by Tuesday afternoon, you can go home."

"Wow, that's a little sooner than I thought, but I'm not complaining. Thank you Doctor,"

Andy walked out of the office, a little bounce in her step. Once outside, she turned on her phone and shared the news with Sam.

"Wow, Andy, that's great news!"

"Well, if on Tuesday we don't hear anything, it'll be great news, but it means we also need to talk about what happens next, Sam."

Sam frowned on the other side of the line. "We'll do that, darling. I need to talk to you about a possibility that I've just been made aware of,"

Andy's interest was piqued by this. "Oh? What kind of possibility, Sam?"

"I'm finishing up here right now and I'll be home within the hour, ok? I'll tell you then,"

"Okay, I can wait that long, I guess," she sighed.

"Love you," he said and hung up.

She got to Sam's and decided to do some laundry and spend time reflecting on things.

She was waiting for a load of wash when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Officer Andy McNally?" the female voice inquired.

"Yes, who is this?"

"Excuse me for bothering you, ma'am, my name is Captain Brody Aronsen, from the TS Fire Department. "

Andy's heart began beating faster as thought of what could possibly have happened raced through her mind. Was it about Sam? The house?

"Captain Aronsen, hi. How can I help you?"

"Ma'am, we regret to inform you that there was a fire last night, and there has been significant damage to your home. No one was home when the fire occurred but you may need to be here at your earliest convenience to assess for yourself,"

"When?", she stammered in a shaky voice, "I mean, when did it happen?"

Sam had just come in the door and saw her leaning against the wall. Heard her last question to whomever it was on the other line. He ran over to her and rubbed her back.

"Andy, what's wrong?"

She motioned for a pen and scrap of paper, on which she scribbled a few descriptive words.

Sam pulled a kitchen chair over for her to sit on and waited for the call to end.  
"Thank you. I will call the police department, too, and request a copy of the file. I can only get there on Wednesday at the earliest for health reasons,"

"Yes, thank you," she hung up and faced Sam. Her face was as pale as a sheet.

"Take a deep breath, dear," he said as he got her a glass of cold water. "Tell me what happened,"

She related the details to him.

"Where is Sam?"

"Sam was probably at work. Night shift."

Sam dialed his son's number, tapping his fingers on the table while it rang.

"Hey?" came Sam's voice.

"Sam, are you ok? Your mom and I just heard about the house,"

"Uh, yeah. I'm ok. I was at work when they called me. There's a lot of damage, Sam. Can I speak with mom?"

Sam handed the phone to Andy who had recovered from her shock somewhat.

"Sam? Oh Sam, I'm glad to hear you weren't hurt," she said with relief in her voice.

"The plan is for me to come home next week Wednesday. Th course of radiation is over, and unless I hear otherwise, I'm cleared to go,"

"That's great, mom. But there's not much to come home to. Oh, by the way, Boo is safe, too. He was in the yard and was staying close to the back fence. The neighbour coaxed him to safety."

Andy took in a deep breath and sighed. She hadn't expected this. "Well, I'll still need to see the damages, dear. Sam will bring me home, then we'll figure something out,"

Sam and Andy sat on the couch, drinks in hand. Sam with a cold beer, Andy with a green tea.

"Andy, remember I said I needed to talk to you about a new development?" he began cautiously.

She looked over at him. "Yeah?"

"Well, there's an opening for detective sergeant within the RCMP. i spoke with Frank and he says with the time I've put in, I'd stand a good chance of getting in. There's a chance after a bit of time to get promoted to inspector,"

"Great, Sam. Why are you thinking of that? I thought you loved it at 15?"

"I do. But, I've been thinking of turning over a new leaf. You know, you, me, Sam."

"So where would this position be?"

Sam breathed and looked at her. "Regina, Saskatchewan"

"Oh wow! Regina?! That'd be a real change!"

"Yup, but it would be good."

"I agree, but what about Sammy? He's supposed to move here in the fall."

"He's a grown young man. He can live on his own."

Andy frowned.

Tuesday came and went with a call from the doctor's office, as was pretty well expected. Sam and Andy left early the next morning to see what was left of the house in Temiskaming Shores.

Sam pulled his truck over across the street and turned off the ignition.

"Oh Andy, I'm so sorry. I know this was your home and..." he turned to look at her, wiping away silent tears as her memories of life with young Sam came flooding back.

She saw herself letting Sammy go for the first time on his new two wheeler, seeing him mark a wobbly trail down the driveway and eventually steering the bike onto the grass.

His first day of grade one, his high school graduation two years ago.

She didn't have words to speak to Sam, who just clutched her hand.

"Do you, uh, want to take a closer look,?" he asked her kindly. She shook her head no.

"I can't, Sam. Let's go away from here," her words were interspersed with sobs. She looked out the passenger side window as Sam drove away.

Sam pulled into the only place that made sense to him, the hotel he's stayed at the last time he was here. He brought the suitcase inside. Even that made things a little more complicated. How long was she going to stay here now that she had no home?

He put two mugs in the microwave and steeped some tea. He saw Andy sitting alone with her thoughts.

"It's going to work out in the end, love, we'll sort through this," He handed her her tea.

She turned to face him, not as sad as she had been. "Thanks, Sam. I know. In a strange way, this place burning down closes a chapter in my life, but I've got so much to look forward to,"

"True. What had you been thinking to do - you know, the radiation therapy over, had you still had a home to go back to, that is?"

"Well, I've been thinking a lot about that, actually. We've each turned over a new leaf. We each seem to think it's time to start fresh. I mean, with you considering a new position." He nodded, trying to follow what she was getting at.

Andy took another sip of hot tea and enjoyed the sensation of the liquid making its way down her throat.

"Andy?"

"Um, well, Sam. I've been thinking. I would've probably put the house up for sale and," she paused, not exactly sure how to break this to him.

He looked at her with eyebrows arched.

"It's just that the past two months have put things in perspective for me. I can't take for granted the one thing that is so important, me. My health. Sam, I'm going to focus on getting well again, and I've decided to put my resignation in here. I've realized that I can't be wrapped in solitude any more. I need that support network of love and friends. I need you and Sammy around me."

Sam drank his tea in silence, head hung down.

"I got that, McNally. I'm sure there's a spot available..." she cut him off before he could finish.

"I'm not going back to 15, either," she added, making him look up.

"You're just going to stop policing altogether?!"

"I think so."

Sam blew out some air and put his tea down. "Sounds like you've got your mind made up, then,"

"I do, Sam."

"Well, whatever you decide, Andy, I'll be here."

Sam McNally was texting Sam and making plans to meet his parents for supper. He was driving to the hotel with Boo jumping around excitedly in the back of the car.

He knocked on their door.

"I was supposed to drive down to Toronto today, but uh, seeing you're here," he tried to make a little joke. Andy glanced knowingly at his father, who read her thoughts exactly. He smiled.

"So where are you staying, Sam?" Sam inquired.

"Well, I had been staying at a friend's but,"

"Ok, then let's get you set up here as well," Sam said, standing up and stretching.

"Cool," young Sam remarked, kissing Andy on the cheek before following Sam out the door. Andy smiled and focussed her attention on giving little Boo some tummy rubs.

They walked silently for a while, when young Sam came out with a question.

"When did you know you wanted to be a cop, Sam?"

"Um, well, I was older than you are now, I think. I just always wanted to be one, I suppose. There was a tragedy within my family with your Aunt Sarah when she was about 14 or so. From that point on, you know,"

"Well, it's just that for me, I watched Mom doing what she loved, I know my grandpa Tommy was a great detective, and I'd heard all these fascinating stories of you."

"She told you stories of me, huh? What did she say?" Sam asked, amused.

"Uh, just how she'd been on the job one week when she made this great arrest,"

Sam laughed at that. "Yeah, your mom was so eager to get out there. I told her not to do that, but she didn't listen. She was the most stubborn woman I'd ever met,"

"Um, I know. But anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I've always wanted to be a cop, too, but now I'm thinking with me being so young yet and all that's happened with you and mom getting back together. Now all this...he gestured in the direction of the house, " well, Sam, I think I want to take a year and just breathe, you know."

Sam paid for young Sam's hotel room, just two doors down from theirs. He thanked the woman at the desk and both of them headed back to their rooms.

"So you want to...what's your plan, Sam?"

"Maybe just check out other options, maybe other police forces. Just not go to school this fall. Get a job, unwind." he shrugged his shoulders.

Sam stopped at put his hands on his son's arms. "You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, son."

Sam blushed at that. "Thanks," he smiled, "Do you think mom will be upset?"

Sam whistled out and feigned a look of seriousness. "She might be,"

Sam McNally's expression changed and he looked downcast. "Oh..."

"Then again, maybe this is exactly what she wants to hear," Swarek teased. "Come on, let's get ready to go out for supper. I'm starving,"

"Amazing!," young Sam grinned, "Sounds exactly like something mom would say, "


End file.
